i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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