I think I just saw someone hide a body.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
