My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize