I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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