for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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