Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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