I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A bitchslap is in order.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
