I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
