Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
