I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
