You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
