Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize