I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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