im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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