we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize