he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
