i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
