i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
we should paint friendship bongs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
