I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
