I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
