I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
