Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we're making bets on your personal life
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
