I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
