Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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