So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
