I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
