cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
