so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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