Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
