Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
