We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
