So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
