Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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