you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize