Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
