I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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