watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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