Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
