he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
