you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
