I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
