so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
