So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
