no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize