id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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