Your dad touched me again.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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