Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
