i don't plan on having that self control this summer
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
