Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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