I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
