You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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