If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
