I hate your face
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
