Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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