Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
