a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
