FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
