Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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