Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
