I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
