hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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