About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
