I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize