He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
either way he was missing a nipple.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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