My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
wanna go halves on a baby?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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