When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
