Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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