did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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