This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
