You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She bit a glass in half.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
