Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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