god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
